It’s September.

So much has happened that I am no longer in the mood to do anything. Hence the long hiatus away from this cyber corner of mine =(

I keep asking the same old questions all over again and rethinking my dreams. I’ve tons of them when I was younger and here’s some recap:

  • to own my first Mini Cooper before 30;
  • travel to Japan before 25;
  • master Japanese language before I embark on my maiden trip to Japan;
  • backpack trip to New Zealand;
  • bring my mum for holiday before she’s totally becoming too old & weak for it;
  • a career at 27;
  • I want career advancement;
  • I want to be a writer;
  • I want to be a photo journalist;
  • I want to be Mother Teresa #2;
  • a new camera;
  • I want to operate a laundry business;
  • learn stock & trading since secondary school days;
  • I want to take care of my family, practically referring to being financially-able;

I need a plan. I need to change, and if possible, advancement and seek out opportunities. Ever since my sister was diagnosed with myasthenia gravis some time ago, I foresee my family is going need me more in the future both financially and emotionally. That is already happening. You properly get some picture who is my father. I have a love-hate relationship with the man i loved most and it is driving me nuts at times. 

What I have at SLS is a passion, something that will always be a part of me. Sadly, the passion that burns will never bring me any closer to those dreams. Is it possible to have everything ? That will be way too perfect.

Feeling that emptiness because I have nothing. None of those dreams. Feeling useless because I cannot give what I am suppose to give as a daughter and sister. Feeling lousy because I am a selfish girlfriend who only plans her OWN future. I think singlehood suits me more. Feeling lonely because I have no one to talk to who can understand those feelings…

Then I found something that might get me move on and further.

It has been 6 good months. I’ve been learning new things in a new, fast-paced environment. Beside dealing with sick computers, i learn to deal with sick patients and troublesome company policies. The salary sucks, but I see this new experience essential to what I need in my resume. It is partly Sociology and interpersonal skills, you learn how to deal with complex situations. To name a few instances- I was threatened by someone who promised to give me a slap, “talking sense” to addicts, observing troubled families, etc.

Sort of like the way things are now. I have everything except $$$$$. Life is a jigsaw puzzle loh. Just a few missing pieces to complete the picture.

I must keep on going. Lee, jiayou. LOL.

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